Reading other stories helps others write their own. Knowing they aren't the only ones with stories like this, because it can sure seem like you are the only one that there is.
You don't have to even think about what to say. It just pours from you onto the screen. Just flows from your soul into the letters at your finger tips. I was 16.
I met a man online who I thought was nice. Safe. Cool. He made me do things I never has imagined. Threatened my family, my friends.
I didn't realize the things he said and threatened were impossible. I didn't know that there was no way he could do the things he said.
He would call and call and call. It got so bad I went into a panic when my phone would ring. I couldn't talk to anyone on the phone.
I discovered alcohol.
I liked that it made the pain more endurable.
That it made the fear a little less. He liked that it made me a little less.
That. I was softer. Easier. That I didn't protest as much, fight. as hard.
The cutting, the drinking, the pain. The dark thoughts.... its amazing I'm here today. God has a plan.
Now I'm healthy. I eat real meals. I don't feel the need to purge. I can survive and even thrive. I have a husband and a little boy.
Sometimes I have nightmares sometimes and some nights I lay awake and feel the pain of the past and cry, but mostly I am better.
I met the sweetest, most caring and loving man and he changed my life. He has healed most of my wounds and for that I am so grateful.